Hilary was in her dressing room, taking her 30 minutes of meditation before dress rehearsal for her next show. Suddenly, she heard a low voice whisper, "My child, come to me". Hilary began shaking with fear, asking "Who is this?" The voice whispered back, "All will be revealed soon my child. But you must follow." Hilary did not know why, but she knew she must obey the whisper. She followed the sound of shuffling paws out the door and into courtyard of the hotel. There, she peered into the fountain, and saw an amazing sight- mermaids were swimming around in an underground kingdom! Hilary blinked her eyes but the image did not go away but only became more incredible. Suddenly the waters began to part, and Hilary was pulled into the fountain.
Hilary opened her eyes and found herself sitting on a throne surrounded by mermaids. All around were blue and purple towers made of shimmering shells, and fish swam freely around her. One of the mermaids swam up to her and gently said, "Our honored guest, we have prepared a feast for you. Please join us." Hilary noticed now that there were decadent trays loaded with food and drink all around her. But for some reason Hilary had a gnawing feeling in her stomach that she should be afraid. She tried to politely decline, but the merpeople became more insistent. Finally, she took a sip of a glass offered to her, and noticed a burning sensation in her throat. When she tried to tell them what was happening, no sound came out of her mouth. The mermaid who had first spoke to her came up and said, "Hilary, I am Sovana, leader of the mermaids. We saw how you were treating your sisters, and for your selfishness you have now lost your voice. Return to your land." Hilary began screaming, but no one heard it.
Author's Note: This story is based on the Congo story The Fetish Sunga. In this story a man is a great fisherman but he does not share his fish with his family, he lets them rot in his house before he will share them with his family. Then a fetish (spirit) brings him to a lake and gives him a big feast, which takes away his voice. She does this to punish him for his selfishness. I took this story to modern times but still kept the part where she loses her voice.
Story source: Notes on the Folklore of the Fjort by Richard Edward Dennett (1898).
I alway slove a good setting change, and you did your's very well. Translating fish into money is also an interesting choice, because it feels like it really offers a different point of view to the story. Most of us can't relate to starving to death, or even having so many fish that we can't eat them all. But these days not having enough money for gas for your car or the electricity bill are very real worries that people face everyday. I think using money in this way really helps the story continue into modern times.
ReplyDeleteHi Marielle! Your story definitely took me for a twist because I was on Hilary's side through to the end. That's the power of framing it through her perspective! I think that making her a successful singer made the fact that she lost her voice all the more poetic. Wasn't The Little Mermaid about her losing her voice as well? If so, the mermaid spirits feel like a nice homage. Great job on this one!
ReplyDeleteWow, I loved the changes that you made to this story. I am impressed that you were able to change multiple things from the original story, but still kept the same story line. I also really enjoyed how you transferred this story into modern time. I am going to try this in the future. You have inspired me!! Overall, really great story. I am looking forward to reading more of your stories.
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